I took last month off thinking I would be less angry about some of the examples I’m writing about today. I was wrong because it has all just been festering while new problematic people have found me. Here are the top 12 issues I’ve had with people on the internet these last two months. I say top 12 because it’s always more than that and that’s why I keep having to write these articles instead of getting my own life together.
- Don’t bring up something you did right in the past when you’re doing something problematic today. This has that same gross energy as men who do something nice and then expect sex. This behavior also cancels out whatever good deed you’re bringing into it because it makes it seem like you only did it to use when you’re being problematic. Try owning whatever you’re doing at this moment so you can learn from it and do better in the future.
- Stop putting BLM in your bio if you freak out whenever a Black woman points out problematic behavior. You obviously just want to be seen agreeing with the right people, but you don’t want to do any work in your own life. This is fake allyship at its finest because if you were serious, you would take the note instead of going full Karen and trying to pick a fight.
- You don’t get to have a bad take on a serious topic and then remind people you “support” them when they ask you to stop trying to argue your bad take. Odds are, this is a sign that you have other bad takes and should probably work through some stuff. It’s also a sign that you think supporting them makes it okay for you to be an asshole on the internet.
- Stop reminding Black people about the anniversaries of traumatic events that you think are important. If we’re out living our best life, we don’t want you creeping into our DMs with “You know what day it is…” or “Is today as hard for you as it is for me?” Full. Stop. It highlights that you have selective memory, and it also feels like you’re trying to win points by letting us know you feel bad. We are not on call to work through your white guilt with you. We don’t owe you that, and it’s toxic behavior in general.
- Stop forcing us into your conversations about race. We might have a variety of reasons we don’t want to talk about race with you. Also, we don’t owe you these conversations on your schedule. If we say that we’re not engaging, then we’re not engaging in this. Don’t thank us for that honesty, and then proceed to recap what you want to talk about anyway. This…